50 Shades Of Sexual Abuse: Misinterpretation Of Romance And Healthy BDSM
“I have just finished reading …” the most AMAZING book!” whispers a young woman as she leans secretly to her friend next to her. The friend turns her head towards her and gasps. The woman smiles merrily as she nods. Her friend is frowning. The woman pauses before continuing her smile. “Yes, it’s sexy and romance!”
Despite claims made by fans of E.L James Fifty Shades of Grey erotica, the manipulation and obsession that are a central theme of this novel is not sexy. The series has a lot of problems because of its normalization and promotion of abuse. It also promotes antifeminist messages.
Anyone who is familiar with the Fifty Shades series will be aware of its tendency to romanticize stalking, control and other controlling behavior. Christian Grey, the protagonist of the book, keeps a tracking GPS on Anastasia Steele so he can track her wherever she goes. It makes her seem more like a dog than a lover. Grey also shows his clinginess when he follows her, literally follows her, and refuses to allow her to go to friends or drive. He has an obsessive nature, not only dictating where she can and cannot go, but what clothes and food she is allowed to eat. Christian is a manipulator and physically intimidates Anastasia, forcing her into sexual relations. When angry, he beats Anastasia’s body with a belt.
Anastasia constantly expresses a fear that she will upset Christian. She does not want to see his anger and get beaten. It is the same fear as any victim who has experienced domestic violence. House Of Ruth says that many signs of abusive relationships include being afraid of a partner’s temper. Other indicators are being shoved or hit, being forbidden to visit family or close friends by a partner out of jealousy. Anastasia, who was forced to have sex by her partner, said: “But now I just feel like an empty vessel that can be filled up at his whim.”
Grey’s behavior is irrational, and the author wants the reader to forgive him for it. This is because of the abuse he endured as a child, both physical and psychological. Grey’s past is used to justify Grey and his actions. The main character should pity Grey rather than recognize that she could be in danger. This can have a negative impact on the readers because it suggests that dangerous and abusive behaviors are desirable and normal in romantic relationships. A partner who is abusive will try to convince them that they are innocent and their partner deserves punishment.
Fifty Shades is not only a film that normalizes abusive habits and relationships, but also a movie that sends out blatant antifeminist messages to its female-dominated audience. Christian’s aggressive, dominant and hyper-masculine character reinforces stereotypes of gender. Anastasia has a pathetically weak and subordinate personality. Christian calls her a slut, insults her and verbally abuses. Anastasia’s heart is hurt when Christian says “How could be stupid?”
Fifty Shades is also a poor representation of BDSM. It is important to note that this false portrayal further distorts the society’s perception of sex in general and BDSM. This portrayal is not appropriate for BDSM because it does not include consent. This is extremely alarming. It implies rape. It also twists audience views, which leads to a justification of rape. A part of the novel reads: “‘No!’ I protested and tried to push him away. He ceases his movement. If you fight, I will tie your toes too. If Anastasia makes a noise I will gag her.
Christian ignores all safe words that were used between the two, further escalating their situation. This is against BDSM. Safe words are used to communicate to your partner what you feel good about and what hurts. They can also be yelled when your partner is not listening. Ignoring the safe word of your partner is to violate their consent. This can be harmful both physically and emotionally.
Fifty Shades of Grey manipulates its readers to think the same as Christian does with Anastasia. The series encourages romanticizing and ignoring mistreatment. It also promotes changing your personality to please your lover and accepting that you are only there to satisfy sexual frustration. It is better to choose a novel with a more sexy plot that does not contain disturbing abusive relationships or unrealistic expectations. Other novels focus on consensual and safe practices. You can also find romances which aren’t based upon a poorly crafted teen vampire novel.